Some Thoughts On Being a Shit

When recipients of unkind deeds refuse buy-in to cover-ups, enactors fail at being shits, but succeed as bastards, pricks, schmuck, and weasels. What lesser statuses enactors at-tain is up to them. Recipients who resist are in powerful positions.

Recipients

When someone dumps on us, we may wonder what WE did wrong. In reality, we typically have done nothing wrong. If we did do something wrong, we simply have to say that we did, listen to what recipients have to say, apologize, and mend our ways. No big deal. We still have to resist the unkind deeds and cover-ups of others, even when we may have had a role in these actions.

It is hard for some recipients to believe that other peo-ple commit unkind deeds and then do whatever it takes to cover-up. Many recipients prefer to blame ourselves. Sometimes standing up to unkind deeds and cover-ups raises so much anxiety that recipients prefer to blame themselves. The fear of consequences silences them. Sometimes recipients have solid grounds for fear of consequences. At other times, their fears are residues from earlier experiences and have nothing to do with present circumstances.

Enactors

Through my research, I have listened to thousands of stories that show how selfish and self-centered some people can be. They do not think about the effects of their behaviors on others. Some do not care. Some even enjoy hurting others and think it is funny. It gives them a rush. Some enactors enjoy roar-ing back. They enjoy resistance because it gives them reason to be even more harsh. Finally, some are genuinely confused hu-man beings who, with some help, could learn to be accountable.

Resistance

Recipients could use the present theory to test whether or not someone else is being a shit. Did the other person commit an unkind deed? Do they have reason to hide what they did? What did they do to cover-up? How did their actions affect re-cipients? These questions can help detect shitty behaviors.

Revenge

Recipients who become enactors are part of a chain of unkind deeds and cover-ups with recipients and enactors switch-ing roles. As good as revenge may feel, it is a temporary solution and becomes part of the problem. Accountability is the only way to stop the cycle of shitty behaviors.

Enactors

Individuals can use the theory of being a shit on their own actions. Enactors may believe they have much to lose if they become accountable, but when they stop dumping on oth-ers, they may find life lightens up. Repentance and reconnection are their own rewards.

More to be Learned

There is more to be learned. Being a shit appears in many forms and truly is a shape-shifter. To outwit them, recipi-ents must marshal the skills of Clever Foxes and be willing to face facts. Some people, including people they know, love, and trust, may enact unkind deeds and cover-ups and let recipients feel as if they have done something wrong. The present research is an important move toward understanding a pervasive human condition.