Removed from Craigslist: Is Writer Talking Dirty?

Craigslist took down my ad for On Being a Shit: Unkind Deeds and Cover-Ups in Everyday Life on June 12, 2008. Here I am a serious writer, eager to share my hard-won insights, and I'm accused of talking dirty. What ever happened to due process?

If the powers at craigslist had read even the first paragraph, they would see that I am not talking dirty. I am informing people about the clever and not-so-clever strategies that people use to cover-up their bad behaviors.

Craigslist did not give me due process. I have no right of appeal. So what do other people think of this censorship and lack of due process?

You can read this book free at http:/www.lulu.com/content/1151441 and see for yourself if I am talking dirty.

I've pasted below the Craigslist notice that my ad was taken down.

craigslist to me
show details Jun 12 (3 days ago)

Your posting has been flagged for removal.

Approximately 98% of postings removed are in violation of craigslist posting guidelines.

Please make sure you are abiding by all posted site rules, including our terms of use:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/terms.of.use.html

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If your posting was wrongly flagged down (2% of flagged ads are) please accept our apologies and feel free to repost.

Sorry for the hassle, and thanks for your understanding.

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Date: 2008-06-11 16:33:36
PostID: 716627802
Title: (books) On Being a Shit: Unkind Deeds and Cover-Ups in Everyday Life
On Being a Shit: Unkind Deeds and Cover-Ups in Everyday Life. Browse free or buy at http://www.lulu.com/content/1151441 for $19.95 plus postage. Also on mobipocket.com and Kindle.com as downloadable books from $5.99-8.99.



No one has ever written about this topic before. Read this book and you will be ready to dethrone the next person who dumps on you. For those who aspire to be shit, this book is a step-by-step guide.


Buy for yourself or put-upon relatives or friends. A gentle hint to troublesome co-workers or neighbors.









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Read Free or Buy On Being a Shit: Unkind Deeds and Cover-Ups in Everyday Life

Read Free or Buy

On Being a Shit: Unkind Deeds and Cover-Ups in Everyday Life

go to http://www.lulu.com/content/1151441

A humorous look at a serious topic

The it book for 2008!!

Read this book and you will dethrone the next person who dumps on you. For those who aspire to be shits, this book is a step-by-step guide.

Readers say:

“hilarious”

“a humorous look at a serious topic”

“There’s nothing ‘girly’ about this book!”

“We all live with shits. Heck, I live with one—being one myself.”

“It’s smart, provocative, and I’ll never take that phrase for granted again.”


An excerpt from the book

Cara said to her lover Nick when she found out he had been seeing another woman, “What do you want? A harem?” An impish look appeared on Nick’s face, and he said, “Two women? That’s not much of a harem.” Cara laughed, tickled by the charm that endeared Nick to her. With her laugh, Cara’s tension lifted, and they talked about other things.

Nick had finessed Cara in an elegant, tailor-made way. His involvement with another woman had hurt Cara, and he covered up through humor. He had been with Cara long enough to know that a humorous response would distract her and lift her mood. Cara cooperated. She enabled Nick to be a shit.


JANE GILGUN is a professor, School of Social Work, University of Minnesota, Twin Cities. She based the theory of being a shit on years of research, professional experience, and personal observations. With Alankaar Sharma, she has published Everything You’ve Wanted to Know About Child Sexual Abuse, or Maybe You Didn’t. This book is available at stores.lulu.com/jgilgun and other on-line book sellers. She has also written short literary pieces that are available at Amazon.com/shorts.

Some Thoughts On Being a Shit

When recipients of unkind deeds refuse buy-in to cover-ups, enactors fail at being shits, but succeed as bastards, pricks, schmuck, and weasels. What lesser statuses enactors at-tain is up to them. Recipients who resist are in powerful positions.

Recipients

When someone dumps on us, we may wonder what WE did wrong. In reality, we typically have done nothing wrong. If we did do something wrong, we simply have to say that we did, listen to what recipients have to say, apologize, and mend our ways. No big deal. We still have to resist the unkind deeds and cover-ups of others, even when we may have had a role in these actions.

It is hard for some recipients to believe that other peo-ple commit unkind deeds and then do whatever it takes to cover-up. Many recipients prefer to blame ourselves. Sometimes standing up to unkind deeds and cover-ups raises so much anxiety that recipients prefer to blame themselves. The fear of consequences silences them. Sometimes recipients have solid grounds for fear of consequences. At other times, their fears are residues from earlier experiences and have nothing to do with present circumstances.

Enactors

Through my research, I have listened to thousands of stories that show how selfish and self-centered some people can be. They do not think about the effects of their behaviors on others. Some do not care. Some even enjoy hurting others and think it is funny. It gives them a rush. Some enactors enjoy roar-ing back. They enjoy resistance because it gives them reason to be even more harsh. Finally, some are genuinely confused hu-man beings who, with some help, could learn to be accountable.

Resistance

Recipients could use the present theory to test whether or not someone else is being a shit. Did the other person commit an unkind deed? Do they have reason to hide what they did? What did they do to cover-up? How did their actions affect re-cipients? These questions can help detect shitty behaviors.

Revenge

Recipients who become enactors are part of a chain of unkind deeds and cover-ups with recipients and enactors switch-ing roles. As good as revenge may feel, it is a temporary solution and becomes part of the problem. Accountability is the only way to stop the cycle of shitty behaviors.

Enactors

Individuals can use the theory of being a shit on their own actions. Enactors may believe they have much to lose if they become accountable, but when they stop dumping on oth-ers, they may find life lightens up. Repentance and reconnection are their own rewards.

More to be Learned

There is more to be learned. Being a shit appears in many forms and truly is a shape-shifter. To outwit them, recipi-ents must marshal the skills of Clever Foxes and be willing to face facts. Some people, including people they know, love, and trust, may enact unkind deeds and cover-ups and let recipients feel as if they have done something wrong. The present research is an important move toward understanding a pervasive human condition.